My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i love accidental penises.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
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