Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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