Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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