She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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