and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
