I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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