Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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