A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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