You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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