Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
