She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
