I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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