I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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