I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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