I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
jump out the window naked night went bad
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
