just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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