so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
