Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
