so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
