...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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