I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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