I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
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they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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