Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
