oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You are the jesus of drinking
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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