I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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