if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I need a burrito and a hug.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
