drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
