A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
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i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
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Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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