The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
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we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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