Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
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Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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