Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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