And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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