Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
