Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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