Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize