I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
