We're like a lot better than the average bears
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
