I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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