Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
NoShamevember. You game?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
