My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
