well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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