hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
