Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
