Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize