so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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