no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
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it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
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And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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