He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.