Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.