i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex