I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad