Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
This is my gift to your gina
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
