I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
