white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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