i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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