Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
