ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
