So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
