But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
